can't find the proper word.
A friend sent me an email the day after Ruby's passing while I was at work and asked me how I was doing
and I answered back "FINE.... considering".
ok, THAT is not the right word, FINE... but,
I find grief is hard for other people to be around
so saying you are Fine is a good word.
I also told her that I just wishing I was at home
because it was exhausting to PRETEND to be OK.
She wrote back that she was sure that the people at work didn't expect me to pretend.
That they understood and were sympathetic.
I responded back to her that Yes, they were.
That they all had been very kind and caring.
Very supportive.
Very nice.
then I said...I guess that PRETEND wasn't the right word to use.
I couldn't find the right word to describe what I meant.
I wrote to her that I was searching for a word that meant
"Refraining from whimpering out-loud, non-stop".
Yeah, no reply to that email.
I told you, grief can be uncomfortable for other people.
So yeah, I'm fine.
And, in case you missed my thank you that I left on my prior post,
TRULY...all the kind and compassionate comments/ condolences meant the world to me.
You are all the best.
XOXOXO