Can't see the Forest for the Trees

You know how you hear a saying

repeat it, use it, but never really think it completely through

or maybe that's just me.

I mean yeah.

You can't see the forest for the trees.

I got it.

Being so deep into it

that you just can't see it

unless you step back and look.

I've been laying around on the sofa the last few days,

doing half sit-ups as I cough myself crazy.

I don't usually just lay around but I'm trying to force myself to rest.

Munching on toast and sipping tea

and thinking.

I forced myself to get on the computer and just see what's going on.

I left a few rambling comments

on a couple of blogs in a cold medicine-induced state.

Jeez.

Anyway, as I lay on the sofa, I watch Ruby wobble across the floor

and then stop and bark and kinda do a dog-jump at one of the cats.

She studies herself and then walks over to a dog bed.

She gets in, turns round and lays down with her tongue hanging out

as it does almost all the time now 

and she and I exchange looks.

She seems to be doing good today.

A bit sassy.

That's a good sign, I guess, although I'm not to let her stress herself too much.

But last Tuesday night she wasn't stressed at all.

Just standing by the water bowl 

and suddenly she staggered and fell over.

I picked her up and held her, slowly cleaning her face as I talked to her

and her eyes slowly came back into focus and she was back.

I set her down and she walked off like nothing had happened.

Then the next morning, I noticed that her front feet were kinda curled
and she was standing on her "ankles".

But then, after a bit, she was again walking normally.

I think about what the different vets and technicians have told me.

Lots of information and details.

I think about statements that have been made to me 

and me with more questions and they with more answers.

It's like standing in a forest and all the questions and answers are the trees crowded around me

and if I step back

the real answer is like seeing the forest from a distance.

I'm finally thinking with clarity.

She's got a heart condition.

She's on medication for it.

They will only work for so long and then they won't.

and that's that.
I realize now that I've just kept asking questions
Because I've been hoping for a different answer.